It can be very shocking to suddenly realise you are a lesbian in the later stages of your life; let’s say you are already 40. The somewhat lucky ones find like-minded folks and therefore seek out a relationship. This certainly involves having the first date with a woman and this might seem a bit weird being the first lesbian date.

There is really no need to worry as the concept remains the same. It is just two people meeting each other and learning more about each other in order to determine if they will be a second meeting and a possible long term one at that. For the first date however, parties need not think far of a long term or lifetime relationship as this might be too early and can put some pressure on both parties. Attraction might be instant, but love usually needs time and some kid of nurturing to grow. So if you enjoy the first date and all seems to be working well with both parties looking compatible, it might be giving the second date a try.

It is however advised that you be patient as the attraction on the first date might just be a flash that will possibly result in short lived and stormy affairs. So you might want to be patient and take it slow. Remember, an attraction does not necessarily guarantee compatibility.

Going back to the basics of first dates, asking for the date can be a trying process. Unlike in straight relationships where the man has to make the move, it is up to any of the parties to initiate the move. It is advisable you jump as the sooner you ask the better. This reduces the anxiety and the agonizing wait. It also helps you develop some confidence that will surely make the next invitation easier. The invitation should be as personal as possible and this can be done in person or on the phone.

There are no rules to whether you meet up each other or a party offering to pick up the other. If you want a nightcap, you might consider a pick up as this usually mean dropping off and even more.

It is advised that you do not go beyond your comfort zone on the first date. This is particularly true as regards expectations of sexual activity. Clearly state your limits and do not be afraid to state your feeling if you feel pressured. Do not pressurize your date either, it is simply bad manners.

There are also no rules regarding the party to handle the bills for the date. You can either split the bill or one of you pays. Either way, make sure you are cautious of obligation concerns and getting into a controlling relationship.

Always remind yourself of the primary goal of the first date – learning more about each other and testing your compatibility. Keep these points in mind and you can be rest assured of having a nice time.